Two years ago, I blogged about somebody who has been persistent in courting me, even though I told him that I am not ready yet to be in a relationship. I was a bit of a coward back then, you see. And I surely needed the time to heal, and wanted to “love myself” more before I can let myself love and be loved again. But as I’ve said, he was very very persistent and determined to get me to say ‘yes.’ I eventually did, but it took us three ‘no’s before that sweet ‘yes.’ It was such a fairytale-like, or should I say, more of a teleserye-like love story, and I couldn’t be more happier now.
When he read my blog, specifically this, this, this, and this (I apologize for the bad writing, I wasn’t that good of a writer yet, I mean, I’ve improved a lot! Okay, sorry). I don’t want to reiterate every blog post, but to make it simpler, I was having troubles with myself back then, since I was graduating in college, just “moving-on” from my first ever relationship, and just being totally frightened of the future. I just wasn’t ready to love again. But deep inside me, I knew that this fear was something. If he didn’t mean anything at all to me, I would have felt nothing at all. But the thing is, I felt fear. I was so scared to open myself to him because I know, I know, that it would be a landslide. He would win over me immediately, fair, and square. Then when he saw my 10 wishes for the new year (2012) back then, seeing the 10th wish, which was to meet God’s gift to me, he assumed that it was him. You see, my fiancé may seem very quiet and all, but he’s very very, VERY, positive. Anyway, so he decided to surprise me on the last day of my final exams, and asked me out on a date, and even politely asked my parents if I could go out with him. My mother knew him because of the chocolates he gave me early 2011, and she liked him because, first, she knew how badly heartbroken I was that summer, and second, she was surprised by how this “new guy” was putting an A+ effort in “showing his affection for me.” Ofcourse, as I have said, I wasn’t ready yet, but eventually, his determination earned my heart. He broke my walls and just effortlessly blew my heart away. I don’t want to tell our whole love story in this post because I have already done that, which you can also see in this blog. Just search for it, it will come by!
Anyway, so last year (2013), September 14th, he proposed to me while we were on a train on our way to Seward, Alaska. It was really very funny, because I already saw the ring in his bag before we left to Anchorage a day before that because we were looking for his driver’s license (which, by the way, has been inside my wallet all along). But I kept my mouth shut and told myself, he’s finally going to do it! So, he booked us a ticket to Alaska Railroad, and we were in first class (I know, he spoils me like that). At the back of our train, there was a balcony, and he tricked me by telling me that no one under the age of 25 can go out there, unless you have a special ticket. And I was like, “Huh? Are you kidding? So what’s the point of all of this first class shiz?” He was so good, and I was sooo convinced by him! But then when I went to the loo, I noticed that there was a little girl there, outside, at the balcony of the train, with her mom. And I was like, “Huh? Is he joking? Oh he’s going to get it.” So when I came back to him, I told him what I saw and he was like, “well, maybe you can go try and take a look. Go, I’ll follow.” So, as this very gullible little girl I was, I did what he said and was nervously walking to the balcony passing by the train crew, and nobody stopped me. So I went there and he was peeping from our seat, and there he was walking towards me bringing the camera. We were both laughing because we’re outside the balcony, which according to my sweet and loving fiancé, is only allowed for persons who are 25 years old and above. He gave me the camera and told me to go take pictures of him by the view, and I gladly obliged. And then he told me, “take pictures of the view on the other side of the road.” I turned back, and I saw nothing but rocks, and when I turned to him again, peeping through the camera lens, there he was, with one knee down, holding the most beautiful ring and said…
“Pakasalan mo ako.” (marry me)
Mind you, he said this to me, not as a question, not as a plea, but as a demand. And I was crying and asking, “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” When I looked back inside the train, people were looking at us and we both didn’t want to go inside right away. A few months before, he asked me how I wanted to be proposed to, and I said I don’t want it in public. It’s between the two of us, and I want it to be just me and him, no one else. Well, technically, it was just me and him in that balcony, so okay, that’s fine, but hello, it was in a very public place, and it frightened me. It took me a while before I even said yes, and we hugged and I can hear the people’s applause coming from the inside. It gave me such mixed emotions. But it made me very very happy. He made me very happy.
I am scared of what is going to happen to us in the future. Lorenz and I, we are the epitome of the saying, “opposites attract.” We do not like the same things, and we fight like, all the time, but each time, we both realize we cannot live without each other, and even though we can, practically… we don’t want to.
It’s going to be a very hectic and stressful year as we plan our wedding. Looking for suppliers and finding the perfect reception venue is indeed very frustrating! But I know, God is with us. I am thankful that God gave us the church we wanted. We told ourselves, it’s going to be there or we’re not pushing through with the wedding this year yet. And voila! God gave it to us!
And I don’t care what other people have to say. Go ahead, judge us, but even that, you don’t have the right to do. Because only God can do that, and even though he can, he won’t. So, I am happy. I am not doing anything to hurt someone or whatever, so don’t say something if you’re not saying anything good at all.
To our families, and friends, who have been with us, praying and sharing love, thank you. This is going to be one epic year, and I know it. Because God is going to guide us both.