There are times when I’d think that getting married at such a young age was such a mistake. We got into a commitment when both of us aren’t even sure of what we want to be, where we want to be yet. And I guess maybe the biggest regret for me, is me leaving my family early. I am the youngest and yet, I was the first one to leave. This may not seem to be a big deal for others, especially those who have been independent since after high school, but for someone like me, who have been with my family since I was born, I didn’t know how to be away from them. Every now and then, I find myself affirming the child in me that everything is going to be okay. Especially when I ask myself why, and if I had made the right choice. And then, I’d come and slap myself on the face, to release the fears and doubts in me, and to let this child remember that it was her choice, so she has to be firm with it and be strong. There is no good thing that comes from running away. The feeling of being okay after running away is only temporary, especially with the thought that whatever you are running away from follows you anyways.
But then, even when everything seems so wrong, and it seems like it was such a mistake, it all makes sense whenever we embrace it out at the end of the day. It is indeed frustrating, but it’s also fulfilling once I get a kiss from him, and I could feel his warmth all through my body.
Sometimes, what we think as a big mistake is actually the biggest turn around in our lives. It gives us the most beautiful unexpected blessing, and even when given the chance to turn back time, we’d still do the same, over and over.