Lost in abyss

Let me tell you something. I am crazy. Not only because I am a girl. But I think I really am, crazy, incapable of thinking straight. I find myself whirling around my thoughts, and I am lost. It happens, right? We get lost sometimes. We don’t know where we want to be, what we want to do, who we want to become.

Is it just me? Or does it happen to everyone else, getting lost?

Maybe, we are all just lost souls, wandering around the planet, without any idea what the universe is going to make us do next. But then, we realize we don’t need the universe to tell us what we should do, as we are capable of making our own choices, of doing what we think and feel is right. We can also choose what’s wrong, as choosing what’s wrong and making a mistake is what makes us all human. If that is so, then why are we so afraid to make mistakes, to fail? Why do we always think that failure is only for the weak? Did we not learn about those who have failed in the past, and yet, succeeded in the present? I don’t really like the notion of “future” since it breaks our ability to appreciate what we can do now, so I say present. Maybe that’s it. Maybe, we become lost because we are not living in the present. Sometimes, we linger in the past, and we expect the future, without us, noticing what the present is giving us now. NOW. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. NOW. Maybe, we fear so much about the future that we forget how important the present is. Maybe we let ourselves be haunted by the past, that we neglect the good that the present gives.

Maybe, we all are just taking advantage of the present. Maybe, we all become crazy, as we all try to bring back what was once, and fast forward to what can be. We get lost because we don’t let ourselves be found. We get lost because we do not want failure, or pain, or sickness. Of course, who wants those? Nobody. But that’s it, isn’t it? We are afraid to take risks now, that’s why we all get lost to our routines, to our regrets, to our narcissistic ambitions. Risking has always been for the brave. It will always be for the brave. A coward will never risk, nor even try. That’s why when the brave gets lost, the brave risks everything, not to get back, but to get better.

We all get lost. And the only way to be found, is to open our eyes, look at what is in front of us, NOW. And then maybe, when we look at it, and as it stares back at us, we will realize that the past and the future do not exist. What exists is the present. Who we are now, what we are now, where we are now. And maybe, that is the only way to be found, not by looking back or by looking ahead—but just by looking.

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