Frozen

Today, I have realized how much I love you. I love you more than anything and anyone in the world. Heck, I love you even more than myself. I don’t know. Sometimes I think it’s a curse, and sometimes I believe it’s a blessing. I don’t know why, but I have always believed Β that my greatest mission in life is to love. Only the brave is capable of loving. Some are too scared to get hurt, while some are fond of pretending. But as for me, I have always been as hopeful as a hopeless romantic can be (well, as ironic as it may sound, I have always believed that “hopeless romantics” are intact, people who never stops waiting and hoping, for that one special someone to come). Maybe it’s a bit pathetic to think that true love exists, especially for someone who has been hurt over and over, but, you know, it really does. You have to believe it does for it to really exist.

Going back to what I was saying earlier, I am starting to think that I am loving way beyond the typical “loving.” I mean, you know, where you love and you keep something to yourself, just incase you get hurt in the future? Well, I am starting to believe that I am loving the way I am supposed to love. You know, like Mother Teresa would always insist, “love until it hurts no more,” which, by the way, is never going to happen. Because, love and pain, they come in package. The moment you said yes to love, is the same moment you said yes to pain, and so you have to be ready for anything. And right now, I am starting to believe that I am really giving all that I can give, without bragging, I have to say that I am actually quite… I don’t know, uhm, yeah. Whatever? It’s just that, all I am trying to say is, I am starting to feel that I am becoming less and less selfish everyday. Is that good? As my favorite philosopher, Emmanuel Levinas would always say, that the ability to respond to my responsibility for the Other saves me, I become capable of experiencing Infinity Infinity, in this sense, is not God, but infact, goodness. And it’s something that we all want to experience right? An ecstatic feeling, joy that brings us a sense of triumph. And well, maybe, we both have to experience pain and ecstasy, so that we would know the difference.

I guess, all I am trying to say is that, sometimes, we are in the middle of the sky and the ground. And it’s just all up to us, if we are willing to take the fall or just keep ourselves hanging in the moist of thin air.

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