It’s hard, being far away from the one you love. Though technology has provided us many ways to talk to another person far away, there is still a kind of longing, the physical presence, perhaps. It’s unfair, very unfair that others can go on a date atleast once a week, eat together, watch a movie together, cuddle, and everything else a normal couple do, while people like me are stuck at home, waiting for the time to pass, waiting for the perfect moment where the both of you can talk and laugh together. People might say that I am overreacting, well, people, you don’t know what it feels like, to be far away from the person who gives meaning to your life. It’s different from being alone. Being alone is a state where you either feel happy or sad about. There are others who enjoy being alone, not because they’re an emo, but because they are able to get to know and love themselves even more. Others are unhappy being alone because they feel like there is something missing. Well, I don’t feel alone. I just feel… jealous, maybe? I don’t know. I am surrounded by a lot of people that I love– my family, friends, to be exact– but you know, it doesn’t feel the same when that person is not with you physically. You get hurt easily, become much more paranoid and sometimes, you feel so helpless that you can’t do anything. I always blame distance for everything. For fighting, for crying at night, for not being able to eat or eating too much at the same time, I dunno. It’s insane, really. And I do get jealous, whenever I see lovers crossing my way, or going to the mall together, hearing mass together, eating together, laughing together, blah blah blah TOGETHER. Ugh.
People who aren’t in the same situation wouldn’t understand what it feels like, to be so far away from the person you love. No, they would never understand. Not being on the same place, not having the same time, the same date, the same weather. But you know, people like me, who know what it feels like to be in different places, they value the meaning of time, they know how it feels like to really trust, people who hold on to faith, precisely because it’s the only thing they can hold on to, who never stops hoping that one day everything would fall into place. These people– people like me– they know how it is to really love. To love, I mean always being ready to get hurt, to cry, to sacrifice, to understand, to be patient. When you love, you should be ready to fall, all the time. To fall in love, not to fall inlove, which is an entirely different thing, I believe, but, to fall in love. So, I get irritated to those who take for granted their loved one, the whole relationship, when they don’t even have distance between them. It’s like a punch on my face. It’s like, why don’t they feel so lucky to have the person beside them, why don’t they just love each other more each day, when they have the privilege to do so.
It’s so unfair, I sometimes think. But you know, I still feel blessed, because I know that in every situation, there are different experiences. Maybe, no, not maybe, I am positive that God has a purpose for this. Maybe this is His way of assuring me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Challenging me to grow more individually, and both of us as a couple. I am still happy, though sometimes, I can’t help but feel really sad, and well, cry, I still believe that love is always worth fighting for. No matter how hard, I am going to keep on fighting, because I believe that that is my mission in life: to love– no matter how hard, no matter how painful– just like Jesus. To love like He did.
So, I’ll be ending this blog post with one of my favorite verses. Though others think that this is highly overused, I still believe in every bit of it.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.“- 1Cor 13:4-8a