I know it’s a little too late for this, but I am still going to try. I wasn’t able to blog for the past month ever since he went home, because I was busy making memories with him. I mean, he’ll be here just for a month, so why waste time doing other things, right? Anyway, so much has happened for the past month. And it’ll be a week tomorrow since he went back home. And it sucks, really, because I was used to having him always at my side, behind my back or infront of me. Now, it’s just me and my computer. I am back to work, after taking a leave, and well, I guess it’s just a little frustrating but I guess, I just have to be patient and wait. Anyway, so here goes my post- Christmas and New Year blog post.
It’s been one tough year. But I guess, it was a good one, overall. I graduated on time, I received good grades, I got a job a month after that and well, I have received God’s greatest gift to me. It was really funny how it all happened, but atleast it all did. I wasn’t very happy; I was ecstatic. It was unbelievable how impossible things can really happen. So I guess, the past year proved to me that nothing really is impossible. I mean, I believe that nothing is, but that was the second time I was slapped on the face (after the parent’s honoring night 2 years ago). I don’t really know what to write here anymore, because I’ve been blogging the whole year and those who have been reading my blog can summarize my whole year. And if I were to describe my year in one word, I’d have to say… EXCEPTIONAL.
I have learned so much. I have learned how to write better, cook, drive better (I finally got my license, after FOUR long years of laziness, I was able to apply for one), be more patient, a lot more hopeful, cry again, love myself and love until it hurts no more. I guess all the scars I have received in the past were all gone. Though I have received a few last year, I know now how to walk along the pavement even if I have blisters on my feet. It was a hell of a ride. There were days when I saw myself crying alone and wishing I were dead. But then God saves me each time, and well,He had given me hope after giving me His greatest gift. After having my heart broken for the first time, I swore to myself that I will never love again, not until I know that I am really ready to get hurt again. And right after my last day in college, I thought that maybe I am ready, but I still had my doubts. Then here’s this guy, who never gave up on me, even when I kept pushing him away. That’s when I realized that there is really someone out there who will make you believe that you are worth it. That you don’t need to starve yourself or wear make-up just to be beautiful. I’ve always seen myself fat and just an average girl but he saw me extraordinarily. He always looked at me like I am the most beautiful girl in the world and he always saw me as the smartest, bravest and well, perfect girl any guy would want to have. I mean, me? Seriously? I thought he was insane for telling me he loves me in the internet. But well, he crossed the oceans for me, literally. I must really be something.
I remember way back in english class in sophomore year, for our prelims, we were to answer a question that we “luckily” picked from the group of cards that our professor provided. The question that I have chosen was this: What do you think of when people are generous to you? My answer: “Whenever others become generous towards me, I always think, maybe, I may have done something good.”
God has been so generous to me through the years, maybe, I may have done something good for me to experience what I am currently experiencing. The past year has been a good one, I have received so much that my whole being is overflowing. I have received God’s greatest gift and for the first time, I felt that I was worth it.
So, thank you, God for 2012. Hello, 2013. Be nice. 😉