NOTE: Seeing that the last part of my narration of what happened to us was after he asked if he could court me again while we were having a moment in the yacht, and that it was written in July made me laugh. So, okay, I will be continuing our story. I hope you guys can read until the end. I will be changing it, too, in my point of view. Since a friend of mine questioned why I was narrating in the third person, I figured that this part is better in my point of view, because everything I have felt for during this time was real.
After spending a few hours in the yacht, we went bowling and then to a bar with our friends to party. It was not my first time to be in a bar, but in a bar like that was a first. Everything looks expensive, even the people, which was quite funny. Everything was wild and so dreamy. I only went to bars where you can drink and sing karaoke or with a band. And I usually go there with my brother and his friends, or with my classmates whenever we are stressed out in school or during birthdays. Anyways, I still can’t believe that he rented a yacht just for me. I mean, wow. It’s so unbelievable that what you see in the movies can happen to you. But I actually felt a little dismayed. I actually don’t like the thought of “buying me” just to get me. I mean, here’s this guy who came back just to try it once more after his many attempts to get my heart with all the things a girl would like. Well, I am just not that kind of girl. And in spite of the fact he knew that, he still kept giving me things which are very unnecessary. I mean, yes, after talking to his mother and sister, I felt like he is really something, and giving gifts to friends and… I don’t know. It’s like I am in between two mountains and taking a leap is very much needed. But then I remembered something. While I was in the States, summer of 2009, I spoke to him on the phone and I felt something. And I actually told myself that when he will court me again (back in our freshmen years, I thought he wanted to or he was), I will give him a chance. I don’t know what came to me and kept remembering that ever since he kept insisting since last year.
Oh no. What’s happening. Does this mean I’ve always actually liked him? Even before? When we were just friends and plain classmates? I remember way back freshmen year when he walked me to the bus stop. We walked at the campus’ “lover’s lane” and I actually clenched on his shoulders. We didn’t held hands but we look kinda like lovers. It was weird but I remember feeling really good that day. We texted for a couple of weeks, and I remember feeling giddy and scared at the same time. I thought he was my stalker and he kept on following me anywhere (well, I was just paranoid maybe). I remember the time when I drew some flowers on his palm. That day, he told me to text him before I go home but I didn’t. That was the same day I realized that I am not over the one that I love then yet. So I started to refuse him and everything. I didn’t want to hurt him and I didn’t want to get hurt all over again. Or maybe, I was ready for him, but I just wanted him to run after me. But that time he didn’t. Because he knew there’s no point in doing so, especially when he knew that he will be leaving for the States any time. And it actually kind of hurt me. I thought he really liked me, when in fact he didn’t. He was just friendly maybe. I remember always looking at the back since he was seated a few seats behind me. Weird. But I kept doing that even until he was gone.
And now, he’s here again. Telling me he loves me and even crossed the oceans for me. What do I do now?