Yesterday, when I had mass, the priest asked as what we were afraid of. People sat in silence for a minute until the priest asked us again and then people answered, “death.”
But I wasn’t one of them who answered death. At the back of my mind, I only had one fear: losing him.
I don’t know why, but it was that one thing I have thought of with that question. I can’t stand the thought of not being with him anymore. The thought of not being able to talk to him kills me. A day without having a glimpse of him gives me shivers. It’s like I am becoming more and more intoxicated by him. It’s insane. But it makes me alive. He makes me alive.
I have been praying for this, for him my whole life. I have never felt this way before, and it gives me all the nutrients my body needs. Each time I pray, I can’t help but thank Him for giving him to me. It’s like my soul is connected to his. It cannot be detached nor replaced. The only way is for them to be connected to each other for eternity. I have learned so much from him, the most important I believe is him teaching me that I shouldn’t listen to whatever others have to say. Ofcourse, they will never stop saying things, we can’t please everyone anyway. I have learned that the most important thing is not the words that come out from people’s mouths, but the sincere thoughts that need not be uttered that come from the heart. He’s the most real, most beautiful person I have ever met. Though easily angered and jealous at times, I am still in awe of his beauty, and how he effortlessly makes me feel like I am the most beautiful girl in the world. It’s just magical.
People can say anything they want, and I wouldn’t even bother listening.
I am scared. But I have faith. Just like what the priest said, why should you be afraid, when you have Jesus walking with you? I know I have nothing to fear, because true love lasts a lifetime.