Fearing the surreal

I have always wanted to write. I don’t know why, but everytime I feel like the world is against me, I just write. Whenever I am in the state of gloom, I see myself in a corner holding my notebook and writing just about anything. I draw sometimes, but I end up drawing literally just circles because I literally can’t draw. Yeah. I know, I suck at that. Anyway, I am just this frustrated writer who never wanted the world to see what she has in mind. I remember having been asked in class what a litterateur does. I answered, “making the surreal, real.” I want to do that. I want the world to see the ordinary things they see the way I see them; extraordinarily. I want people to know how beautiful things turn out when they learn how to let it all go. Because the moment I start writing, is the same moment I stop controlling things. It’s the very moment that I start letting go. It’s the moment when I begin to let the real me do what she does best. Because if I wouldn’t let go, then I wouldn’t be able to write. Because I have always been afraid. I always let the fear of me being criticized get through me. I hate it when I don’t please everyone. I know it’s wrong, but, sometimes, I guess, I just can’t help but want to please everyone around me. But lately, I have learned that it’s really impossible for that to happen. People will say many things about you. They will criticize you and will always have to say something about you, may it be good or bad. People will never stop looking at you, because that’s how the world rolls nowadays. This world where we live in is pressuring all of us to be perfect, to be the best. But I guess, in every way that we could, we just can’t be perfect, because we aren’t, and we never will be! Yes, it does suck to be human, but at the same time, it’s a good thing to not be perfect. Why? Because there is always room for improvement. There is room for development. There is room for change. Yes, we are all afraid of change, aren’t we? We are afraid of the new things, sometimes, even of the good things. But that’s the thing! We are afraid. We always let fear eat us up! And in the end, we accomplish nothing, mostly because of the fear of what others have to say. Of not being good enough. Of not being… enough.

If there’s one thing I have learned, it’s when we make a mistake that we learn. It’s when we let change come to our lives that we are able to grow and make a difference. Damn what others have to say. If we let fear come in to our lives, then we just sentenced ourselves to our own deaths. We are never going to be perfect. We can never please everybody, not even ourselves. But you know what? It’s when we completely let go that miracles happen. What do I mean by this? It’s when you stop thinking of failing that you win. It’s when you stop being afraid that you begin to work. It’s when you begin believing and trusting that you are able to do the impossible.

It’s when you let go that you become to see the real from the surreal.

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