Less seeming me.

Yesterday, we studied about Martin Buber in our Existentialism class. Though a Jew, there are still many differences between his philosophy and Levinas’. The discussion yesterday was quite interesting because Buber have bothered many of us because of his many concepts, especially his famous “I-Thou” “I-It” notions. But what interested me more was his concept of seeming. Seeming is like a pretentious living. It is like one is living according to what people want you to be. There is a fear of what others would say. There is a sense of war inside of you that you cannot seem to stop… Or something.

Anyway, I have learned lately how not to listen. As I have written in my previous posts, I have learned how it is to not care what other people has to say or think. Yesterday, I was deeply troubled by someone who seem to be troubled as well by my existence. I don’t know why but this person seem to always want to win even though there is no competition in the first place. Apart from not really caring what other people think or say anymore, I’ve also learned that life is not a game. There is no competition. I don’t understand why it’s a natural instinct for man to always be number 1, when in the first place, life is not even a contest. What I have learned is that people will never stop saying “you can’t make it” or “you’re not any good” or even “I am better than you.” That’s life! It’s not always going to be about you! Or maybe it can be about you but without having to think of other people. I think this is where I like to put some Nietzsche in life. Always look forward to self-development. Don’t mind other people. Think of yourself, of what you want to be, of how you want to be yourself. It’s not because you want to prove anything to others, but it’s because you just want to be better. You always have to choose to be better, without thinking of any others. Not that they don’t matter, but because it is you who make your own life. Your call; either be a master or a slave. The master is constantly battling with himself to be better everyday while the slave is constantly battling with others just to survive. Just to survive.

Life isn’t a race. It never was.

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