I am such a coward. As in. I am such a chicken when it comes to confrontations. I am not sure how I can handle things. I really don’t. If there’s one thing I can never be proud of, that is my fear of being hurt infront of people you get to be with everyday, and hurt someone infront of these same people. I am becoming more and more like what I don’t want to be everyday. I am becoming as indifferent as any one could be, and frankly, it just sucks so bad.
The truth is, I am scared. I don’t want to go to the retreat. This is the first time I’ve felt this. I always loved going to retreats. Not this time. I feel like I will not feel loved at all in this one. I am so paranoid, and I feel like I wouldn’t want to to be a part of it, at all.
Oh please, Lord, give me the strength I need… Please, help me be strong.