After not being able to finish nor edit any of my Thesis chapters, I have been trying to atleast read books. Sadly, I can’t understand anything I read anymore. This is bad, actually, because I have a goal, and I don’t know if I can still make it. I have to get back on track, especially now, that School is almost there. It’ll be my last semester, and frankly, I am not really excited, I am a lot more scared. I am just really hoping and praying that I will be able to concentrate on my studies this last semester. It will be really very hard, but I am just telling myself that it will be worth it.
Because of my utmost desperation of graduating with honors, my parents and even my siblings told me that I should go talk to my professors and tell them my standings. They told me I should tell them that I am running for honors and maybe ask them for their help to always reconsider. I am not quite sure about this, because I am a person who doesn’t want to ask for “help” in this kind of things. I mean, isn’t this cheating? Or is it just in my mind? My brother told me that his classmates that are running for honors talk to their professors beforehand, and tell them to reconsider everytime they do their grades. I am a lot more afraid on whether this is legal or if it’ll make things worse for me. I mean, philosophy professors tend to always answer you logically, in a way they won’t let you answer. I am really half-hearted on the idea of talking to them about helping me in this, but I don’t know, this could really just make or break not just my grades, but my whole person.
So, whatever happens, if ever I do talk to them or not, I have to triple my efforts this last semester. I HAVE TO, and I WANT TO. I am not doing this for me, for my own glory, but I am actually doing this for God and my parents. I want to express my gratitude through graduating with honors. I may be pressuring myself a little too much, but I am really just hopeful for all things to eventually just fall into place.
Whatever happens, I will trust in the Lord that He will help me win this battle.